Welcome to the internet, where the men are real men, the women are real men, and the little girls are real FBI agents.
Linkety-link-link-link.
Bash.org is a collection of funny (often NSFW) quotes from IRC users.
Kiva.org lets you loan small amounts of money to would-be entrepreneurs in third-world countries. You don't get any interest, but these days that's better than the stock market.
I wanna be a Sesame Street Martian for Halloween next year. I won't get around to making the costume, though, so I won't.